Should fathers be in the birthing room?

This article was originally written for Amsterdam Mamas and was first published on their website in Autumn 2013 

There has been some debate recently in the media about whether or not fathers should be in the delivery room. The original statement claimed that fathers could have a negative effect on the birthing mother, and his presence will cause her so much anxiety, that labour will stop and a cascade of unnecessary and unwanted medical interventions will ensue. This idea sparked a lot of arguments on both sides.

Fathers have always played a vital role in birth. But society has evolved, and for one reason or another, men became less and less involved; very often excluded until birth became “woman’s business”.  But times are changing and a quiet revolution is happening. Men are reclaiming their place in the birthing room. Data published in 2005 by the National Health Service in the UK shows that 98% of fathers attended births. Men don’t want to be merely present; they want to be fully involved too.

Just as it is for women, birth is a rite of passage for men too. That first moment of welcoming their baby into the world is equally as important to the father as it is to the mother.

Fathers can make a profound difference during labour. When a father is given the space to explore his own beliefs, feelings and anxieties surrounding birth and fatherhood, he can make the inner shift he needs to feel empowered and confident about his role as a birth companion and father to his child. If he is equipped with all the tools and information, he can very often be all that the mother needs in this crucial time.

Here are 5 things dads can do during labour:

Provide warmth- Keep her warm. Massage her or apply acupressure for pain relief. Surrounding her with loving support will help release the hormone oxytocin, which is essential for labour. Sarah Buckley, author of Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering, suggests keeping the birthing mama warm especially after the baby is born and when the placenta is ready to be released. Dads are perfect for skin-to-skin contact with the baby if mamas are not available.

Be her centre- Help her stay centred and grounded. When labour intensifies, dads can be an anchor in the storm. Reassure her, gently guide her to release tension, hold her, or massage her.

Be her armour- Protect her from unnecessary interferences such as visitor, ringing phones, bright lights in the birthing room. Keep noise to a minimum. If a midwife or doctor needs to examine her, make sure that she is aware and fully consenting.

Give her sustenance- Birthing mamas need to stay hydrated and nourished.